This is a update to my last note regarding the threat by a hacker group to strike out at the Westboro Baptist Church if the organization does not end its hateful protests. At the time of the threat, the WBC was already in court defending its rights after being sued by the family of a deceased soldier for protesting outside his funeral. The case worked its way up to the US Supreme Court, which determined that the WBC had protested lawfully, obeying all regulations, and was entitled to the protection of the First Amendment since the government cannot control the content of protests.
Justice Samuel Alito was the lone dissenter in the 8-1 decision. He states in his dissent that there ought to be not protection for the sort of bitter and irreverent hatred that the WBC preaches.
You can read more here: http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/judicial/2011-03-02-westboro-first-amendment_N.htm
As I said in my previous note, I don't like the WBC any more than anyone else, but free speech is important to us all, and even it means continuing to put up with the WBC, I for one am glad that free speech is still safe for all, not matter the message. For that reason, I'm penciling into my calendar the WBC's next protect in my area, because I plan to use that right to respond to them in the correct manner, by joining the many that counterprotest with messages of tolerance. I encourage you all to do the same. You can find the WBC's picket calendar on their website: www.godhatesfags.com
Showing posts with label queer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label queer. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A Lesbian in the Life of a Small-Town Genius
Victoria S.
Age 13
Central Missouri
I was never “supposed to be” gay, or even questioning, for that matter. There is a very profound rule in my town and the surrounding area. You are basically supposed to go to high school, state or community college, get a job, get married, work, get old, and die.
At the age of only 9, 10 or 11, I knew I was different. Things were going really well for me at the time. I had just been accepted into the gifted program at school, and had a “boyfriend”- you know how elementary school “relationships” go. One thing that hit me, after about a week, I would have to force myself to have feelings for a guy.
No one I knew was having that problem, or at least didn’t say anything about it. Through the rest of 4th and 5th grade, I just thought I hadn’t met someone I truly liked yet- but as it turns out, I was looking in all the wrong places.
What seriously hit home for me was at a sleepover. I was sleeping at my best friend’s house, like I did almost every weekend. She, her younger sister, and I were sitting on the bed, and I, well, felt something that I would later realize was attraction. We would jump around, and when my friend would jokingly get close to me, I was attracted. However, I was very ashamed, although I would just smile to myself every time she got closer to me.
Later that night, in an odd game of spin the bottle, I had my first kiss- with a girl. And I liked it. I liked it more than I would admit to myself. It was then that I knew something was VERY different about me.
I discovered my brother’s secret [that he is gay] when I was very young, and had an interest in gay rights, and gay people in general. I never viewed homosexuality as wrong in anyway. It was simply love- and love is good, or so I tried to believe as I came out as bisexual.
When I initially came out, so many girls identified as “bi” that I wasn’t taken seriously at first, even by some of my friends. Even then, I soon became one of the poster children for the LGBT community in our town. There are four to five openly gay kids and our town, and I’ve already explained the sort of fad that the word “bi” represented at the time, and I know each and every one of them, being really good friends with most of my town’s LGBT citizens.
Even then, though, a growing monster was threatening to tear me apart. I was cutting myself because I was so hurt, and as I even started my first relationship with a girl earlier this year, I felt I was wrong. I had internalized homophobia.
This led me to nearly attempt suicide. I was this close to making an attempt on my life. I absolutely HAD to talk to someone about this.
When I was beginning to think I could turn to one of my old friends, who at one time I almost dated, I sent her a message over Facebook. At the time, I was living with my brother and sister-in-law, and my sister-in-law went through the messages I had sent to my old friend and my friend Sam, who was rumored to be my girlfriend.
They set me down, explaining that it wasn’t right and I shouldn’t be worried about that “stuff” yet. My brother sort of defended me, but they expressed their feelings of my (at that time) bisexuality very clearly. If I wanted to live like that, they said, then I could go back to my parents’ house.
That debate split my family beyond repair, and my first real run-in with homophobia still comes back to me every single moment that I have free-time to think.
Soon after I lost contact with my brother and sister-in-law, I developed an unrequited crush on one of my close friends, and we still talk to this day. I haven’t lost any real friends because of their attitudes toward homosexuality, but for a while, I had lost two siblings. Although I have them back, I know nothing can be the same between them and my parents.
I just try to live day-by-day, dealing with my internalized homophobia as it presents itself, and even though I’m not perfect, I know that God makes no mistakes. I believe that I was made to be different, and will live as God intended me to.
“Why would God make us so different if he wanted us all to be the same?”- SAVED! The movie
“Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight!"- Harvey Milk
If you would like to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, email your story to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com, along with your first name or pen name, age, location, and/or any other information that you’d like posted to introduce yourself. All contact information will remain private and confidential.
Age 13
Central Missouri
I was never “supposed to be” gay, or even questioning, for that matter. There is a very profound rule in my town and the surrounding area. You are basically supposed to go to high school, state or community college, get a job, get married, work, get old, and die.
At the age of only 9, 10 or 11, I knew I was different. Things were going really well for me at the time. I had just been accepted into the gifted program at school, and had a “boyfriend”- you know how elementary school “relationships” go. One thing that hit me, after about a week, I would have to force myself to have feelings for a guy.
No one I knew was having that problem, or at least didn’t say anything about it. Through the rest of 4th and 5th grade, I just thought I hadn’t met someone I truly liked yet- but as it turns out, I was looking in all the wrong places.
What seriously hit home for me was at a sleepover. I was sleeping at my best friend’s house, like I did almost every weekend. She, her younger sister, and I were sitting on the bed, and I, well, felt something that I would later realize was attraction. We would jump around, and when my friend would jokingly get close to me, I was attracted. However, I was very ashamed, although I would just smile to myself every time she got closer to me.
Later that night, in an odd game of spin the bottle, I had my first kiss- with a girl. And I liked it. I liked it more than I would admit to myself. It was then that I knew something was VERY different about me.
I discovered my brother’s secret [that he is gay] when I was very young, and had an interest in gay rights, and gay people in general. I never viewed homosexuality as wrong in anyway. It was simply love- and love is good, or so I tried to believe as I came out as bisexual.
When I initially came out, so many girls identified as “bi” that I wasn’t taken seriously at first, even by some of my friends. Even then, I soon became one of the poster children for the LGBT community in our town. There are four to five openly gay kids and our town, and I’ve already explained the sort of fad that the word “bi” represented at the time, and I know each and every one of them, being really good friends with most of my town’s LGBT citizens.
Even then, though, a growing monster was threatening to tear me apart. I was cutting myself because I was so hurt, and as I even started my first relationship with a girl earlier this year, I felt I was wrong. I had internalized homophobia.
This led me to nearly attempt suicide. I was this close to making an attempt on my life. I absolutely HAD to talk to someone about this.
When I was beginning to think I could turn to one of my old friends, who at one time I almost dated, I sent her a message over Facebook. At the time, I was living with my brother and sister-in-law, and my sister-in-law went through the messages I had sent to my old friend and my friend Sam, who was rumored to be my girlfriend.
They set me down, explaining that it wasn’t right and I shouldn’t be worried about that “stuff” yet. My brother sort of defended me, but they expressed their feelings of my (at that time) bisexuality very clearly. If I wanted to live like that, they said, then I could go back to my parents’ house.
That debate split my family beyond repair, and my first real run-in with homophobia still comes back to me every single moment that I have free-time to think.
Soon after I lost contact with my brother and sister-in-law, I developed an unrequited crush on one of my close friends, and we still talk to this day. I haven’t lost any real friends because of their attitudes toward homosexuality, but for a while, I had lost two siblings. Although I have them back, I know nothing can be the same between them and my parents.
I just try to live day-by-day, dealing with my internalized homophobia as it presents itself, and even though I’m not perfect, I know that God makes no mistakes. I believe that I was made to be different, and will live as God intended me to.
“Why would God make us so different if he wanted us all to be the same?”- SAVED! The movie
“Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight!"- Harvey Milk
If you would like to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, email your story to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com, along with your first name or pen name, age, location, and/or any other information that you’d like posted to introduce yourself. All contact information will remain private and confidential.
Friday, November 19, 2010
A Gay in the Life of a Teenager
This post comes from a young man who seems to have gained an interesting perspective from his experiences, one that I'm sure many of us share or should consider. Read on, and feel free to leave comments if you have any response!
Well, I'm just one gay teenager out of trillions around the world. Well, my story is, well, a bit sad but also happy because now my sister accepts me, but not my parents, but my friends support me in my life. I have a boyfriend and he always gives me emotional support also. My secret came out when I was 9 yrs old. My mom had found a gay magazine under my bed, but since that day my life has changed in good and bad ways. I’m just proud to be gay, and I want everyone to know it because I'm not afraid of what anyone thinks of me.
Well, this is just some of my life. Now I'm living life to the maximum and enjoying it. Don't be afraid to show your true self, and don't care what other people say because they will try to make you feel down, but ignore it just like I do. I just say whatever, I will always be gay, and nobody can change me, ok, because they are no better than anyone else, and remember god loves us, that's why he created us, to make the world think different about love.
If you would like to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, email your story to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com, along with your first name or pen name, age, location, and/or any other information that you’d like posted to introduce yourself. All contact information will remain private and confidential.
Well, I'm just one gay teenager out of trillions around the world. Well, my story is, well, a bit sad but also happy because now my sister accepts me, but not my parents, but my friends support me in my life. I have a boyfriend and he always gives me emotional support also. My secret came out when I was 9 yrs old. My mom had found a gay magazine under my bed, but since that day my life has changed in good and bad ways. I’m just proud to be gay, and I want everyone to know it because I'm not afraid of what anyone thinks of me.
Well, this is just some of my life. Now I'm living life to the maximum and enjoying it. Don't be afraid to show your true self, and don't care what other people say because they will try to make you feel down, but ignore it just like I do. I just say whatever, I will always be gay, and nobody can change me, ok, because they are no better than anyone else, and remember god loves us, that's why he created us, to make the world think different about love.
If you would like to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, email your story to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com, along with your first name or pen name, age, location, and/or any other information that you’d like posted to introduce yourself. All contact information will remain private and confidential.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sound Familiar?
An LDS Ad Campaign to Counter Mormon Stereotypes
According to news sources, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has begun a television campaign to reach out to the American people, many of whom have reportedly never met a Mormon. The campaign aims at breaking down stereotypes of Mormons as stiff right-wing religious fanatics by providing snapshots of the lives of real Mormons to show that they’re not so different from everyone else after all.
Sound familiar, folks?
I won’t go so far as to say that the Mormons stole my idea, but in an effort to address the same problem, they certainly came up with the same solution. I started this blog as a space where real live Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning individuals could share insights into their lives. I believe that this is the best way to counter the stereotypes that so often spark judgments about us that don’t really address us as people.
The I'm a Mormon Campaign currently contains over twenty videos of normal people—couples, artists, athletes—comfortable with talking about who they are and what they do on a daily basis that makes them unique and worthy of acceptance. “It’s time to reintroduce ourselves,” say leaders of the campaign. I never thought I’d say this, but there is one area where the Mormons and I agree. People can’t really understand and appreciate you if all they have to know you by is an overblown cliché.
I’ve been calling out to all of you help drive this effort forward, one story at a time. If you have any interest in changing the minds of those around you, please participate in this project by emailing your LGBTQ in the Life story to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com. Here you have a chance to show the world the real you.
C’mon. Introduce yourself.
If you would like to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, email your story to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com, along with your fist name or pen name, age, location, and/or any other information that you’d like posted to introduce yourself. Include a title that begins, "A Gay (Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Questioning) in the Life of..." All contact information will remain private and confidential.
According to news sources, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has begun a television campaign to reach out to the American people, many of whom have reportedly never met a Mormon. The campaign aims at breaking down stereotypes of Mormons as stiff right-wing religious fanatics by providing snapshots of the lives of real Mormons to show that they’re not so different from everyone else after all.
Sound familiar, folks?
I won’t go so far as to say that the Mormons stole my idea, but in an effort to address the same problem, they certainly came up with the same solution. I started this blog as a space where real live Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning individuals could share insights into their lives. I believe that this is the best way to counter the stereotypes that so often spark judgments about us that don’t really address us as people.
The I'm a Mormon Campaign currently contains over twenty videos of normal people—couples, artists, athletes—comfortable with talking about who they are and what they do on a daily basis that makes them unique and worthy of acceptance. “It’s time to reintroduce ourselves,” say leaders of the campaign. I never thought I’d say this, but there is one area where the Mormons and I agree. People can’t really understand and appreciate you if all they have to know you by is an overblown cliché.
I’ve been calling out to all of you help drive this effort forward, one story at a time. If you have any interest in changing the minds of those around you, please participate in this project by emailing your LGBTQ in the Life story to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com. Here you have a chance to show the world the real you.
C’mon. Introduce yourself.
If you would like to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, email your story to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com, along with your fist name or pen name, age, location, and/or any other information that you’d like posted to introduce yourself. Include a title that begins, "A Gay (Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Questioning) in the Life of..." All contact information will remain private and confidential.
Friday, May 21, 2010
A Gay in the Life of a Blogger
Who I am and why I'm doing this.
Two weeks ago I posted my first blog entry, a request for readers to submit their personal reflections on what it’s like to be gay (or lesbian or bi or trans or questioning) and on whether there’s anything else they use to define themselves besides their sexual orientation. Despite my efforts to promote the Gay in the Life Project on Facebook and Twitter, I haven’t received any submissions. But I haven’t given up, since despite the lack of submissions, I do have one story to post, and that’s my own. I hope more will follow.
As a college student at a liberal New England university, I’ve been told over and over to find my voice, to express myself, and to make a difference in the world. For someone who arrived freshman year still in the closet, this was easier said than done. But my story is not a coming out story. I mean, I did come out soon after getting to college, and that was significant in itself, but it’s what followed coming out that was the best part: being able to speak openly, finding that voice I’d heard so much about.
I don’t know if it’s this way for everyone before they come out, but being in the closet made me feel like I was between two places, but not really in either one. I felt isolated from my family and my friends, gay and straight, because of that lack of honesty, and I felt like I was missing out on the things that out gays got to do that I couldn’t, or wouldn’t let myself.
So when I came out, it was like I finally got where I was supposed to be. I could be honest and frank about who I was with all my loved ones, and I got the opportunity to make a host of new friends on new terms. That to me was the best result of coming out: the sense of belonging to a new community, being a part of its heritage, pride, and even struggles. I’d obsessed over being gay long enough, but now I could exert that energy more positively since I was part of something bigger. How fortunate that I came out in college, where there is no shortage of opportunities to get involved with service and activism.
And if college is a great place to be gay, then the new millennium is a great time to be gay. I know today’s world is pretty crazy and that it seems pretty bleak with the economy tanking, the ozone layer shrinking, and a bunch of people with bombs trying to beat each other to the punch, but for some reason all the talk about the Good Old Days when America was on top and everybody had a job just doesn’t jive with me. After all, those were also the days in which separating your colors from your whites was more than just good laundry advice. Back then, homosexuality was barely talked about except as a joke, and gays themselves were forced to lives of fear and depression in their closets.
Today, you can do things like join a gay social network or talk openly about your feelings. Hell, you can even start a gay blog for crying out loud! But for all this openness, there’s still a great deal to be done, and I’m not just talking politically. The stereotypes and prejudices are still out there, but the more we examine them the better we can resolve them. Furthermore, the taboos surrounding LGBTQ issues still mean you can’t always express yourself as openly as you’d like, or that you’re still painted in a certain way that you might not agree with.
These are all things that I honestly feel about the LGBTQ community in our time, and that’s what led me to start this blog. Let’s share our stories as LGBTQ people and put human faces to the labels. If people fixate on your being gay, tell us who else you are. Or maybe you can’t always express your orientation as you’d like to. In that case, tell us what it’s like to be in that situation and how being gay affects you. Be honest, be frank, be you. I feel that we only stand to gain from this. In addition to showing the world who we are, we may discover things about ourselves by reading the stories of others and hearing what they have to say about ours. Each one of us has a story worth sharing, so let’s begin today.
If you would like to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, email your to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com, along with your fist name or pen name, age, location, and/or any other information that you’d like posted to introduce yourself. Include a title that begins, "A Gay (Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Questioning) in the Life of..." All contact information will remain private and confidential.
Two weeks ago I posted my first blog entry, a request for readers to submit their personal reflections on what it’s like to be gay (or lesbian or bi or trans or questioning) and on whether there’s anything else they use to define themselves besides their sexual orientation. Despite my efforts to promote the Gay in the Life Project on Facebook and Twitter, I haven’t received any submissions. But I haven’t given up, since despite the lack of submissions, I do have one story to post, and that’s my own. I hope more will follow.
As a college student at a liberal New England university, I’ve been told over and over to find my voice, to express myself, and to make a difference in the world. For someone who arrived freshman year still in the closet, this was easier said than done. But my story is not a coming out story. I mean, I did come out soon after getting to college, and that was significant in itself, but it’s what followed coming out that was the best part: being able to speak openly, finding that voice I’d heard so much about.
I don’t know if it’s this way for everyone before they come out, but being in the closet made me feel like I was between two places, but not really in either one. I felt isolated from my family and my friends, gay and straight, because of that lack of honesty, and I felt like I was missing out on the things that out gays got to do that I couldn’t, or wouldn’t let myself.
So when I came out, it was like I finally got where I was supposed to be. I could be honest and frank about who I was with all my loved ones, and I got the opportunity to make a host of new friends on new terms. That to me was the best result of coming out: the sense of belonging to a new community, being a part of its heritage, pride, and even struggles. I’d obsessed over being gay long enough, but now I could exert that energy more positively since I was part of something bigger. How fortunate that I came out in college, where there is no shortage of opportunities to get involved with service and activism.
And if college is a great place to be gay, then the new millennium is a great time to be gay. I know today’s world is pretty crazy and that it seems pretty bleak with the economy tanking, the ozone layer shrinking, and a bunch of people with bombs trying to beat each other to the punch, but for some reason all the talk about the Good Old Days when America was on top and everybody had a job just doesn’t jive with me. After all, those were also the days in which separating your colors from your whites was more than just good laundry advice. Back then, homosexuality was barely talked about except as a joke, and gays themselves were forced to lives of fear and depression in their closets.
Today, you can do things like join a gay social network or talk openly about your feelings. Hell, you can even start a gay blog for crying out loud! But for all this openness, there’s still a great deal to be done, and I’m not just talking politically. The stereotypes and prejudices are still out there, but the more we examine them the better we can resolve them. Furthermore, the taboos surrounding LGBTQ issues still mean you can’t always express yourself as openly as you’d like, or that you’re still painted in a certain way that you might not agree with.
These are all things that I honestly feel about the LGBTQ community in our time, and that’s what led me to start this blog. Let’s share our stories as LGBTQ people and put human faces to the labels. If people fixate on your being gay, tell us who else you are. Or maybe you can’t always express your orientation as you’d like to. In that case, tell us what it’s like to be in that situation and how being gay affects you. Be honest, be frank, be you. I feel that we only stand to gain from this. In addition to showing the world who we are, we may discover things about ourselves by reading the stories of others and hearing what they have to say about ours. Each one of us has a story worth sharing, so let’s begin today.
If you would like to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, email your to gay.in.the.life@gmail.com, along with your fist name or pen name, age, location, and/or any other information that you’d like posted to introduce yourself. Include a title that begins, "A Gay (Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Questioning) in the Life of..." All contact information will remain private and confidential.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Welcome to the Gay in the Life Project
As a gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or questioning person, do you ever feel that those around you get hung up on the stereotypes surrounding your social group and miss all of the other unique qualities that make you who you are? You’re not alone.
Or maybe you feel that people tend to ignore that part of your life, perhaps because it makes them uncomfortable, and to undermine how important it is to you and how it has shaped you. Again, you’re not the only one.
I know that many members of the LGBTQ community feel this way, and I’m fascinated by the way that society at large can look at us and either fixate on our sexuality or ignore it completely. Either way, they miss out on huge parts of who we are as individuals, without giving us a chance to decide how we want to be seen and to express what we consider important about ourselves. Well here, you can.
I invite you to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, a new forum where LGBTQ individuals can share what makes their experience in society unique. You can be one of the first to take part by emailing me your story as a gay (or lesbian or bisexual or transgendered or questioning) person in the world. I’ll post stories I receive on this blog, created solely for the purpose of sharing them, so that readers can get a glimpse of how being gay affects your daily life in any of the roles that you play.
Gay in the Life of a Football Captain? Lesbian in the Life of a Head Cheerleader? Bisexual in the Life of a Single Parent? Tansperson in the Life of a Teacher? Questioning in the Life of a Husband?
Or maybe it’s more abstract: Gay in the Life of a Computer Nerd? A Hopeless Romantic? A Rural Nebraskan?
Whatever your story is, it’s worth sharing. Maybe being gay has given you a totally unique take on the world, and that’s valuable in itself. But more likely, you’re not the only one who’s had this kind of experience. Others share the same worries and frustrations. Maybe your story will give them hope, or maybe they can offer you the comfort and support you need. What have you got to lose?
So email me your story now at gay.in.the.life@gmail.com. Give it a title like the ones above, and include your first name or the name you wish to be posted under, your age, location, and anything else you’d like me to include by way of introduction. Identities and contact information will be totally confidential. Your stories can be as long or as short as you need them to be. Just say what you need to say! My goal is to collect stories and begin posting them by late May or early June, so stay tuned and thank you for helping to get this exciting project off the ground!
Or maybe you feel that people tend to ignore that part of your life, perhaps because it makes them uncomfortable, and to undermine how important it is to you and how it has shaped you. Again, you’re not the only one.
I know that many members of the LGBTQ community feel this way, and I’m fascinated by the way that society at large can look at us and either fixate on our sexuality or ignore it completely. Either way, they miss out on huge parts of who we are as individuals, without giving us a chance to decide how we want to be seen and to express what we consider important about ourselves. Well here, you can.
I invite you to participate in the Gay in the Life Project, a new forum where LGBTQ individuals can share what makes their experience in society unique. You can be one of the first to take part by emailing me your story as a gay (or lesbian or bisexual or transgendered or questioning) person in the world. I’ll post stories I receive on this blog, created solely for the purpose of sharing them, so that readers can get a glimpse of how being gay affects your daily life in any of the roles that you play.
Gay in the Life of a Football Captain? Lesbian in the Life of a Head Cheerleader? Bisexual in the Life of a Single Parent? Tansperson in the Life of a Teacher? Questioning in the Life of a Husband?
Or maybe it’s more abstract: Gay in the Life of a Computer Nerd? A Hopeless Romantic? A Rural Nebraskan?
Whatever your story is, it’s worth sharing. Maybe being gay has given you a totally unique take on the world, and that’s valuable in itself. But more likely, you’re not the only one who’s had this kind of experience. Others share the same worries and frustrations. Maybe your story will give them hope, or maybe they can offer you the comfort and support you need. What have you got to lose?
So email me your story now at gay.in.the.life@gmail.com. Give it a title like the ones above, and include your first name or the name you wish to be posted under, your age, location, and anything else you’d like me to include by way of introduction. Identities and contact information will be totally confidential. Your stories can be as long or as short as you need them to be. Just say what you need to say! My goal is to collect stories and begin posting them by late May or early June, so stay tuned and thank you for helping to get this exciting project off the ground!
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